A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away mighty Dark Lord Simon Cowell had a dream. As supreme leader of Britain’s Got Talent (part of the Empire’s glorious Infiltration and Public Relations Division), his dream was that one day he might see Stormtroopers dancing on his show. In week five of the 2016 season that dream was realized by a mysterious group known only as Boogie Storm.
On that show two silent Stormtroopers walked on stage. They were quickly joined by others to the sound of the rousing and inspiring Imperial March. Still, no one really knew what was going on until the music started. Within seconds, this squad of imposing Imperial minions were dancing, flipping and spinning to the joy of the judges and the audience.
Dark Lord Cowell quickly granted Boogie Storm the coveted Golden Buzzer. So rewarded, they were catapulted into the finals.
Those performances further advanced the Empire’s cause through dance. They even involved Sith Lord Darth Vader himself. Although they were only voted third place in the show (no doubt due to the meddling of anti-dancing Jedi), it was hardly a loss. Lord Cowell approached Lord Vader and asked if he might borrow the squad for a world tour to promote the greatness of the Empire with Lord Cowell’s Syco label.
For many months, the identities of special squad Boogie Storm remained a closely guarded secret of the Empire. However, the masks slipped slightly when the traitorous Piers Morgan dared question the Dark Lord’s judgment.
Invited on the show thanks to taking Britain and much of the internet by storm (thus advancing the Emperor’s goal of eventually annexing Britain), the brave young troopers no doubt expected a warm welcome. Susanna Reid, the lovely and loyal cohost was indeed very welcoming. By contrast, the vile and despicable Morgan (currently under investigation due to allegations of sympathies with the so-called rebel alliance) went so far as to refer to our Dark Lord’s servants as stupid. Would that public relations did not prevent our troops from carrying blasters on the show.
After such horrendous treatment from this obvious piece of rebel scum, some of Boogie Storm’s leaders revealed their identities to defend their squad. While there was concern that revealing the humanity behind the mask would undermine the efforts of Lords Vader and Cowell, since revealing the founders of the Empire’s most successful public relations weapon as Lee Seddon, Jennifer Ellison and Robbie Tickle, support has only grown.
With appearances at weddings, malls, TV shows and the Star Wars Episode 8 wrap party, Boogie Storm has continued to do a truly great job of spreading the influence of the dark side through their dancing. By any measure, their performances and achievements are impressive. Most impressive.
Boogie Storm can be found on Facebook.
And of course, as loyal citizens of the Empire, you will want to see your troops perform:
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One of Eric’s earliest memories is seeing The Empire Strikes Back in the theater. That was all it took to make him a fan of Star Wars for life. Whether it was devouring the old EU books and comics or binge watching Clone Wars on Netflix, he has never lost touch with the films and the world they created.Currently, he edits and ghostwrites fiction and non-fiction at Gingerman Editorial when he isn’t busily indoctrinating his six kids in the ways of the Force. Follow him on Twitter @gingermaneditor